Sunday, January 20, 2008

Safe-tergent, me arse

Why aren't all ads not-crap? The "safe-tergent" ad, for example, is demonstrably crap. "Safe-tergent"? If you've no idea what the hell I'm on about then lucky you, but you can read about it here, if you really want to...)

Now, is my mentioning the shitty safe-tergent ad self-defeating? Have I, by passing it on, just shown that it works? Only if you are a gobshite. Are you? Didn't think so...

I look at it like this: as consumers we are the modern equivalents of Renaissance princes and patrons (but generally without the poisoning, Papal corruption, pederasty, nepotism and simony and all those other word you only ever hear in a Junior Cert History class (didn't hear pederasty in class? should have gone to Catholic school then...)). If it's shite, don't give them your money. If the ad is crap - don't buy the bloody product. You'll only encourage them to fill our lives with even more inane driveltastic cuntwaffle.

("Guhnn...more Coke, more Snickers.....")*

This, on the other hand, is good. I don't have a clue what it's for, and I probably don't need one, but I think we should all purchase one anyway just so that they might buy a tv ad slot and put something decent on instead of the usual brainrot-candyfloss.







* That one's for the comedy fans amongst you.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Caption time





























DICK ROCHE: winner again of the Annual Oireachtas Vodka Chugging Contest (Proceeds to the Galway Water Treatment Fund).

BRIAN COWEN: Probably having the house special fried rice with chips. Again.

NOEL DEMPSEY: Meets Brian Cowen before the make-up team goes to work.

MARY HARNEY: Gasping for a fag.

BERTIE AHERN: Confession? And in a jail? (Well, we can dream...)

Has anyone seen my €106bn? I had it here somewhere...

Reuters reports: "Green Party officials say the new EU reform treaty and the Irish constitution have sufficient safeguards for an able government to defend Ireland's neutrality."

Yeah, "able": we, on the other hand, have this shower... Would you trust Bertie "Son of Charlie" Ahern to safeguard Irish neutrality?

Would you trust him to safeguard a fiver?

Speaking of safeguarding the cash, this EU we're all supposed to be big fans of is the same EU that has failed for thirteen years in a row to convince its own auditors to sign off on its accounts. Last year the budget was €106,000,000,000.00, which is quite a bit of cash. But the EU's auditors refused to sign off on the accounts, citing errors of regularity and legality.

Try that one: "Ah no, Guard, I didn't really rob it, it was just an error of legality". Actually, come to think of it, I can quite easily imagine a certain Taoiseach trying that one...

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I'm so great, I'm so special

Self-aggrandizing, egomaniacal, megalomaniacal, and a little reminiscent of a kid who's desperate to be thought special and super-clever - you know the ones, the ones who genuinely think they might be wizards or some such delusional shite.

I can think of a name for him: let's just say it rhymes with Ethan Hunt.

Do you ever again want to watch a film that features this man?? I don't. For one thing, I hate to think what the asshole might spend the box-office cash on.





Just to clarify: KSW is "Keeping Scientology Working". It refers to a policy document drafted by L. Ron Hubbard. An SP is a "Suppressive Person", i.e., someone particularly antagonistic to scientology.

You can also go here to watch Tom telling us all about the wonders of scientology.
UPDATE: Not any more you can't. That link now leads to a page that says, "This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Church of Scientology International".

Well, I guess that's the end of that, although you could maybe try here instead, or here, here or here.

If it's the truth, and presumably they believe that it is not only true but vitally important, then why stop people from seeing it?

(While "egomaniacal" and "megalomaniacal" might sound like specific medical terms, we're using them merely in a general sense to communicate our personal impressions of the video. Besides, they're probably a bit psychoanalyticky, and, as the Tomster himself would no doubt tell us, psychiatry is all wrong and not to be believed anyway.)

(Is "raging fuckwit" a medical term? Just wondering...)

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Say what now??

Here's a little comparison for you to ponder. First, have a look at (and a careful listen to) an extract from the Al Jazeera version of Davis Frost's November 2007 interview with Benazir Bhutto.



Now have a look at the same clip as broadcast by the BBC.



Did she say what it sounds like she said ("…he also had dealings with Omar Shiekh, the man who murdered Osama Bin Laden…")?

Why did the BBC remove that bit?

The cover-up conspiracy theory is obvious, but maybe it's simply because they considered it an unsupported and unverified assertion.

One thing that arises immediately is, what prompted her to say it in the first place? The other, perhaps more pressing question is, why the hell didn't David Frost ask her to explain??

(The great Peter Cook reportedly once said, "My biggest regret in life is saving David Frost from drowning".)

You can see the original Al Jazeera version in full here, and the BBC original here. You'll find the relevant part at about 5:31 in the Al Jazeera version, and 4:27 in the BBC version.